My goal for this Lenten season has been to listen more and simplify my life whenever possible, so that I have more room in my life for family, church and the sound of God's voice. One of many things I've done has been to take a good, hard look at my Face Book account. I started my Face Book account a long time ago. At first I was amazed that I could reconnect with the lives of old friends, people I hadn't seen since as far back as grade school. Up until then, I could only summon up old memories and speculate about where they were now and down what roads their lives had taken them. I remembered the sweet boy in fourth grade who jumped in to save me when I got my first pair of glasses in fourth grade. I remember the first person I ever knew whose parents got a divorce. After that, I was deathly afraid to be away from my parents for even five minutes, because I thought that when they got home they would be divorced. Having gone to an almost completely Caucasian public elementary school, I also remember making my very first African-American friend. I loved her, and we were like peas and carrots.
Now, re-seeing all these people on Facebook, what a rush! We chatted. I got to wander through their posts and pictures, seeing what they were doing now: whether they were married, whether they had kids, pictures of their friends and whether or not they were still playing D & D (JK even though I know and love some people who do). Then I graduated to the second step. With whom could I be friends, would they want to be friends with me and how many friends could I collect. I mean, wasn't ones number of friends a sign of ones personal worth and charisma? Plus, I found that many people had private pages. I couldn't look at their pictures without being their FB friend. So, I collected as many friends as a I could. My third step was to start controversial conversations on FB with posts guaranteed to release the hounds. At first, I loved it. The back and forth debating was fun, but I soon found that that there were often folks out there who were ready to get ugly...really mean. The fun was over when that happened. My fourth step was when I realized that I was becoming friends with people who were just friends with my friends; I didn't even know them. It seemed too much trouble to delete them, or is it "de-friend?" Also, wouldn't it be mean to unfriend someone? I certainly would never say that to their face, so why would I do it on a computer? Meanwhile, as my friend list, along with my notifications and invitations, increased, I found myself less and less interested in my good old Facebook Account. When I logged into Facebook it would tell me I had 20 or 30 notifications, but when I opened the list I realized some were from people I didn't know. Some were from groups I didn't know I was a part of. Some were from weirdo creepy men in small Eastern European countries who had no friends but wanted me to be their first friend. Eek! By the time I'd whittled it down, I would have around three or four messages I was interested in. It began to seem like an awful lot of work during a time in my life when I am over committed in so many ways.
So, with the beginning of the Lenten season and my goal to simplify my life, I have assumed the task of taking a good, hard look at my Facebook account. I set boundaries for my friend list. I wanted people I go to church with to remain on the list. People I practice law with in the Bar Association stayed on the list. Family stayed on the list (guess I should have mentioned them first). As for those I didn't know, that was easy. As for everyone else, it's been a work in progress. Unfriending someone's hard for me to do, because in my heart, they are still my friend--frozen in that time we shared together. However, I keep reminding myself that the goal is not the unfriending; the goal is to SIMPLIFY. The person that once held that place on my "list" will always be my friend, but now I've opened up a new place. It's a space for new growth, real 3-D friends and new hobbies, like finally learning to play that bass guitar I got for my birthday. Most exciting of all, though, is the idea that I may have opened up a space that will finally allow me to hear something wonderful that God has been trying to tell me for a long time.
Peace.
Now, re-seeing all these people on Facebook, what a rush! We chatted. I got to wander through their posts and pictures, seeing what they were doing now: whether they were married, whether they had kids, pictures of their friends and whether or not they were still playing D & D (JK even though I know and love some people who do). Then I graduated to the second step. With whom could I be friends, would they want to be friends with me and how many friends could I collect. I mean, wasn't ones number of friends a sign of ones personal worth and charisma? Plus, I found that many people had private pages. I couldn't look at their pictures without being their FB friend. So, I collected as many friends as a I could. My third step was to start controversial conversations on FB with posts guaranteed to release the hounds. At first, I loved it. The back and forth debating was fun, but I soon found that that there were often folks out there who were ready to get ugly...really mean. The fun was over when that happened. My fourth step was when I realized that I was becoming friends with people who were just friends with my friends; I didn't even know them. It seemed too much trouble to delete them, or is it "de-friend?" Also, wouldn't it be mean to unfriend someone? I certainly would never say that to their face, so why would I do it on a computer? Meanwhile, as my friend list, along with my notifications and invitations, increased, I found myself less and less interested in my good old Facebook Account. When I logged into Facebook it would tell me I had 20 or 30 notifications, but when I opened the list I realized some were from people I didn't know. Some were from groups I didn't know I was a part of. Some were from weirdo creepy men in small Eastern European countries who had no friends but wanted me to be their first friend. Eek! By the time I'd whittled it down, I would have around three or four messages I was interested in. It began to seem like an awful lot of work during a time in my life when I am over committed in so many ways.
So, with the beginning of the Lenten season and my goal to simplify my life, I have assumed the task of taking a good, hard look at my Facebook account. I set boundaries for my friend list. I wanted people I go to church with to remain on the list. People I practice law with in the Bar Association stayed on the list. Family stayed on the list (guess I should have mentioned them first). As for those I didn't know, that was easy. As for everyone else, it's been a work in progress. Unfriending someone's hard for me to do, because in my heart, they are still my friend--frozen in that time we shared together. However, I keep reminding myself that the goal is not the unfriending; the goal is to SIMPLIFY. The person that once held that place on my "list" will always be my friend, but now I've opened up a new place. It's a space for new growth, real 3-D friends and new hobbies, like finally learning to play that bass guitar I got for my birthday. Most exciting of all, though, is the idea that I may have opened up a space that will finally allow me to hear something wonderful that God has been trying to tell me for a long time.
Peace.
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